


Smug Bastard's Guide to Being Right on the Internet

by SkazuhiraMiller



Series: Master Miller's Guide to Surviving the 2000s [2]
Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Comedy, Gen, More 2000s Internet Content, guest starring 2 of Kaz's dogs, kaz thirst? what kaz thirst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 03:02:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkazuhiraMiller/pseuds/SkazuhiraMiller
Summary: Do you really think someone would do that? Just go on the internet, and tell lies?





	Smug Bastard's Guide to Being Right on the Internet

**Author's Note:**

> This is a ficlet originally done for my good buddy fern's request on tumblr, and, well. I decided to set something in the universe of Dumb Asshole's Guide to Home Invasion, my Kaz Magnum Opus. This takes place Before the events of Home Invasion.

Miller clicks on his most-visited bookmark. AwakeNET, Web 2.0’s premiere cryptozoology and conspiracy forum. He navigates to the ENCOUNTERS Board. Ah, yes. There it is. At the very top, a thread posted by truth0logy_911. “YETI_STOLE_MY_ARM: Some Questions.” 

That fucker is the bane of his existence. The original post of the thread was  _ full _ of  _ totally baseless  _ accusations. This guy says YETI_STOLE_MY_ARM probably isn’t even missing an arm, much less has even  _ seen _ a yeti. So yesterday evening, Miller replied to the thread to set the record straight. Replied with a picture proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s missing an arm. 

“Master Miller,” David had said, holding Miller’s state-of-the-art Motorola Razr camera phone, “I understand you need to prove the arm thing but, why do you also have to be shirtless and holding Noodles in your left arm?” 

“They need to know what they’re dealing with,” Miller had replied. He turned to the large Eurasier dog he was effortlessly holding one-armed.”Isn’t that right, Noodles?” And so he uploaded EAT_SHIT_TRUTH0LOGY.JPG with only a  _ minimal  _ resolution loss. 

“Thirty new replies, are you seeing that shit, Cody?” Miller says to the German Shepherd who wandered over to investigate his dad’s computer shenanigans. 

Of course, Truth0logy is at it with “And how do we know you didn’t lose it in a tragic chainsaw accident or something?”  _ Well, dipshit, you don’t, but that’s the beauty of the internet.  _

But that’s not even the beginning. Several users accusing Truth0logy of being Jealous of YETI’s “chiseled abs.” 

Truth0logy says “HE PROBABLY PHOTOSHOPPED THOSE ANYWAYS, I BET THAT’S NOT EVEN HIM IN THE PICTURE. POST ANOTHER ONE HOLDING A SPOON.” Miller thinks, maybe he will take a spoon pic. The spoon will be languidly in his mouth, because that will  _ really _ piss off ol’ truth0. 

TexasRanger65, middle-aged mother of three who’s spotted a chupacabra, says, “I’d ask if you were single but my hubby would kill me ;)” 

Ducky12345 says, “Your dog is realy cute what’s her name???” 

JerseyDevil says, “I’m gonna have to see some more evidence... if you know what i mean.” 

GeorgeSearsRetireBitch says, “no fair posting shots from the amputee male model ASPCA calendar.” 

KellyClarksonFan82 says, “looks like we got ourselves a dog DILF ;P”   
  


Some other people are arguing with Truth0logy. Miller thinks he’s made his point. 


End file.
